Saturday, March 24, 2012

Does Tim Tebow really need this kind of real estate supervision?

Oh, dear!

Jets officials say they want Tim Tebow to live in...wait for it...New Jersey!

They say they don't want him corrupted by the evils of New York. 

You know!  The Metropolitan Museum of Art (pictures of naked women!), St. Patrick's Cathedral, the Empire State Building, the Bronx Zoo, the Metropolitan Opera (who can tell what awful things they sing about?  It's all in a foreign language!), and heaven knows what else. 

Think of what effect Broadway shows like "Death of a Salesman," "A Streetcar Named Desire," and "Porgy and Bess" could have on this innocent young man.  Not to mention "Jesus Christ Superstar," "Godspell" and "Leap of Faith."

This highly religious athlete is obviously susceptible to all these sinful attractions.  Who knows?  He might slip and fall at the Museum of Modern Art while looking at some subversive Picasso and hurt his throwing arm.  Or be hit by a bus with an ad for "The Book of Mormon" on it.

It's certainly true that the press is waiting for any sign of moral turpitude in Tebow.  A single overdue library book could put him on every front page in the country.

So the powers that rule the Jets want to keep him in that bastion of moral righteousness, New Jersey, where he can enjoy the innocent and bucolic charms of the Jersey Shore, and where, as the article says, "Between the Jets' bickering locker room, loudmouth coach Rex Ryan and unforgiving fans, Tebow will have to step up his prayer game."

Here's the link:

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